This week, in an effort to ensure I accomplished my goals, I told myself I would reward myself with a gift if I successfully stuck to my healthy eating/working out routine. Typically I would reward myself with food, but that seemed counter intuitive to my goals. (Refer to: New Year's Resolutions post.) Instead, I would reward my newfound healthy ways by spending a boatload of money on myself.
(Okay, not a boatload. But at least over $50. At least.)
It could be something frivolous, like clothes or a waffle maker. Or cake batter flavored protein powder. (The cake batter flavored protein powder was a big contender as my potential prize for an entire day, FYI.)
The week came and went and LO AND BEHOLD, I succeeded. Little did I know the hardest part was yet to come.
I browsed online for a few hours. Zara, TopShop, Urban Outfitters. There were things I liked, certainly. But enough to buy...? I really, really didn't need new clothes. (Note to self about future blog post idea: NICOLA IS THE OPPOSITE OF A HOARDER. I'm addicted to having less stuff.)
Okay, so then what? I browsed around Victoria's Secret and American Eagle. Maybe I'll buy myself brand new underwear, enough to last me the next five years. (Sorry if that was TMI, future employers. Or mom. Whoever is reading this. Sorry that I wear underwear LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.) No, no, I really don't need clothes OR underwear.
OK. Gym clothes. I've been going to the gym consistently, so it definitely makes sense that my reward would be gym clothes! I could get the cute Lululemon leggings, the kind with a giant pocket for my phone. Oh, they're $100? Umm. Hmm. There's a good dupe on American Eagle for $30 too. I can afford it... but it seems silly to spend that much on leggings right now, since I have two perfectly good pairs. Ok, gym clothes are out of the question.
I went to my Amazon wish list. OK, I can just pick something off my wish list (spoiler alert: I have THREE wish lists on Amazon. They are organized into 3 groups: Kitchen, Food, and Miscellaneous. #Priorities. Wait, I just realized I have Kitchen AND Food? OMG what is wrong with me.) and then I can just buy it and move on. Yay for Prime!
What about the waffle maker you've always wanted? Yeah, but you don't really need more appliances, plus you still need to master making pancakes. OK, what about protein powder? There's so many flavors.. like cake batter (!!), birthday cake, graham cracker... SO MANY DELICIOUS OPTIONS. But don't you still have two bags left of chocolate and vanilla protein powder? How about you just finish those bags and THEN buy cake batter protein powder? Oook, what about some new candles? No, you just got a ton of candles for Christmas, remember?
And so on. You get the point. This went on the entire day. I managed to talk myself out of buying every single thing. Even things I KNEW I wanted at some point, like a waffle maker. I just didn't want to buy anything enough, regardless of whether or not I "earned" it with my healthy eating.
The next day, I went to Marshalls with the boyfriend, so HE could buy something.
"Choose something you want, Nicola! ANYTHING that remotely interests you. Just BUY IT," I told myself. (After all, I'M ALREADY IN MARSHALLS, everything I could possibly want from here is already like $10 or less.)
I ended up talking myself out of buying $15 earmuffs and bought a little stand up shelf. To organize my desk. It was $0.99. With sales tax, I ended up spending $1.07.
After much deliberation, I bought myself something I needed. For one dollar. I may as well have rewarded myself with some toothpaste.
What's the opposite of frivolous? Whatever it is, I'm that.
I'd like to think that the reason I couldn't bring myself to buy anything was that eating right and working out was reward enough for me... but no. It turns out I just don't really care for shopping that much.
I'll buy something one day, obviously, eventually. But right now my reward is the cute little shelf on my desk. The most frivolous dollar I ever spent.