A hiatus.

Forgive my absence in writing. Would you believe me if I said I had written a sizable and thoughtful 1200-word post and then accidentally deleted it? Not one of my smartest moments. And not something I wanted to admit readily. It was a good post too, I think. I had written out a long list of “things I learned by 25” which was full of life lessons as taught by Nicola. They were lessons that ranged from the serious (Forgive others! Love your family! Think before you speak!) to the wholly superficial (Pantene’s 3 minute miracle is greater than the Aussie version. Use packing cubes. Know the difference between soft-serve froyo versus soft-serve ice cream.) but was entirely entertaining for me to write.

It’s gone now. I was in a frenzy one evening. Without getting into too much detail.. I was downloading and clearing a bunch of files and.. my lovely blog post was deleted. Not just deleted, but my recycling bin was wiped for good measure. I’m very thorough when I clean house. Stupidly, recklessly so.

And then there were just lulls this year where I didn’t really want to write and publish. I kind of retreated into myself. And like - the act of writing is so oddly personal to me - sometimes I really hesitate hitting publish because, well. Then my thoughts become public. I am not always ready for that.

I don’t know. Somehow when I’m creating content for a client project, the process is so much more simple. I just write it.

I mean, I like to write for my blog, but then to write and produce something personal… I have to get into my head… and then I have to publish it, and then whatever was in my head is just out there in the black hole of the internet and just…

When I write copy for a client, it just happens. Oh, it’s not perfect? It’s OK - I can always revise later on. Revisions are part of the writing process, after all.

But somehow when I’m my own client, the creative process is always in some perpetual, stressful standstill. The difficulty of creating a product is increased tenfold. And I’m convinced it’s entirely my own doing. The blame only falls on myself.

Can any introverts related? Can any overthinking worrywarts relate? Can you be your own mental block? Argh! #WHYAMILIKETHIS